I love a good fantasy. When I was little, my favorite books were The Hobbit and The Sword Of Shannara. My favorite movies were Star Wars and The Princess Bride. And my favorite TV show was The Dukes Of Hazzard. Well, that was because of my Daisy Duke fantasies.
Now that I’m all grown up, I play Fantasy Football and watch Game of Thrones. The difference now is that I realize the stark difference between fantasy and reality. Usually.
Sometimes the best football players on good teams are far less valuable on a fantasy squad than those lesser players on poor teams. Fantasy football is all about stats, not necessarily value towards a victory. Here are some other lessons I’ve learned through the years…
|A well stacked Big Mac with fresh lettuce and vegetables on large grilled patties, just like the commercials.||A squished up Quarter Pounder with Thousand Island.|
|Shooting under 40 at Acorn Park.||Losing 2 sleeves of brand-new balls.|
|2019 Iowa State Football expectations.||3 OT win vs UNI and a teammate collision to end the Cy-Hawk game to start the year.|
|Going to the beach for a fun and sun filled day.||Sunburned with Sand in all the wrong places.|
|A Caddyshack sequel? Awesome!||Caddyshack 2|
|This New Year’s Eve I’m gonna party like it’s 1999!||In bed before 11:00.|
|Racing a bunch of kids at Lake Of The Ozarks to show them how fast I still am.||Losing my balance on the uneven ground and doing a faceplant somersault on the hot asphalt.|
|Writing a witty and well thought out editorial for this week’s paper well before deadline.||Procrastinating until the last minute and throwing together this piece of uninspired gibberish.|
|It won’t happen next time.||Oh crap! I’ve got an editorial to write!|